#ITS DYED SO MAYBE THATS A DIFFERENCE (
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i just need trigun to be my own thing for a bit all my fav blogs are dead and the alive ones have some takes and interpretations i do not vibe with. im taking these dolls into my own corner for a min
#what is it about trigun thats so????#devisive?#im just so so particular about my readings and i like to take different ideas into account ofc#but so sooo tired of just smiling and nodding along when people are just so Wrong in my head#like who is that. who is meryl to u? vash? i dont know them. i dont know who ur talking about#bc its not who im talking about#just hit a real fatigue point with bad takes that feel point blank like misinterpretations#i cant smile and nod anymore im tired some of u guys arent playing with my dolls respectfully enough and i would like to take them home now#think thats maybe why i havent drawn trigun in a min#not fatigue w the series just. the fanbase. the dying fanbase that only thrived for a bit bc of trendhopping yaoi shippers
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#Ive thought about it for a long time so this was an eventuality: I think... personally its weird how kimaiz and cladem are#treated a lot differently and Im not saying their disabilities or disorders are the same im just saying that like me a lot of people really#LIKE cladem I think thats great but I know. That I can take a joke. And i know kimaiz is a legit otaku but its just that#I dont know maybe im taking the “I WANT TO KILL KIMAIZ” jokes too seriously. Because yeah he is legit dying. Death soon and impending but#I dunno. “He is a jackass sometimes” but is not being told youre about to die every second a privilege that you have to be kind enough for#Im overthinking this tbh. Whatever on everything
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sorryyyyyy rewriting some things. in case anyone asks im unwell about julian
#you know what it is this time?#he cant tell sada's lambs apart from the other lambs of that spring#he isnt able to see them for their first seasons. hes busy. well. dying#nay. hes busy recovering from dying#but because he cant spend time with the lambs that season. he cant tell them apart#sada's lambs just blend in with the others#and MAYBE. someone else could tell them apart. his father or his mother or his siblings#and they could tell him which lambs are hers after hes well enough to see them again#and maybe enough times and he can tell the difference himself. itd be harder because theyd be older by then#and less distinctive but not impossible. but heres the other thing#i dont think anyone thought to do that#nobody can tell the lambs apart because nobody needs to. its not important to be able to care for them#julian could because he wanted to. but nobody needs to#none of his family would have thought to be able to do so for his sake#so he cant tell sada's lambs from the rest. and being away from the sheep and being unable to raise the lambs that season#sucks anyway. but thats just salt in the wound because its like losing her again. like betrayal#he doesnt even know which lambs are hers and even if he did the dont trust him as much as the other seasons' lambs do#because he missed that integral period#idk man. it matters to him#if i think about julian in ereform too long i get DEPRESSED . WAUG
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#so im gonna be a lil bitch on main for a minute#ive been offline for a while#pretty much absent from all my socials#im in a pickle financially like i have no money anywhere#my credit cards are maxxed#my bank account is negative 400 dollars#im getting 20 dollars less in disability benefits a month without a clear reason for the witholding#granted its only 20 bucks less but that still makes a huge difference when thats my ONLY source of income#AND i am moving into a new apartment which should be an exciting experience finally moving out of my parents house and on my own and all BU#even with the voucher program i would need an additional 600 to be able to afford my rent share and utilities#on top of being negative 400 dollars a month so now thats -1000#WHICH end result and the crux of this whole rant#i can no longer help#like i am fucking useless right now and people are literally dying#i have many unanswered asks from gazans right now that I cannot even help bc im so broke#it feels really bad bruv like reallybad#feels like absolute shit#and it ust feels so wrong to ask for help when others need it more#like i dont think i could do that#wtf man#is it me upset that my entire disability check goes to bills to the point where i overdraft every month? yeah sure#my art does not sell and ive tried everything! like it just DOES NOT sell#and it all kinda boils down to me not having any sort of following online#i just breached 200 followers here after 13 years on this website#most are inactive blogs from years ago so i maybe have like... 10 active followers?#whiny usamerican rant over for now#delete later
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#can eso just...... fucking behave......#server issues aside its always been an ordeal to just *launch* the game and then a second ordeal to *log in*#i think it might be ReShade causing the crashes even tho ive cut out dozens of effects im not even using#reshade certainly hasnt given me any errors#or maybe thats just how eso is now and reshade is innocent#i dont dare play without it bc certain zones look like complete and utter garbage to the point where i need to play in black and white#if i dont i get headaches and eyepain#apocrypha is the worst by far and theres hardly a day i dont regret paying money for it#including the server issues lately im just about at my fucking breaking point#like all i need to do rn is figure out some alternate dyes to help a friend out with dying a costume#i tried last night but the servers were shittinf themselves#i tried for half an hour to log in but was only met with failed log in attempts the whole damn time#like i know that programming and game design in general is difficult#unimaginably so when youre managing a live mmo with millions of players across different servers and platforms#i get that zos doesnt have an easy job#but can they just fucking make eso into a FUNCTIONAL and PLAYABLE game yet?!#if this round of repairing the game doesnt get the game to launch im uninstalling eso and drop kicking my computer out the fucking window#like all i wanna do is play the game i bought and am currently paying for via a sub but fuck me thats just too fucking much to ask for jfc
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me: ohhh maybe ill be able to leave early bc its the weekend then i can chill and do some extra studying ^7^
the new guy who is a little too eager to teach a student: 🤭
#NGL IM A LITTLE SAD BC THIS IS MY LAST DAY HERE AND I WAS LIKE NOOOOOOOOO#he wound up being one of my fave doctors to work with tbh idjdjsjs#hes just extremely talkative and me being low energy i was just aaaaaaa is too much#but hes honestly nice and very forward so maybe thats why it was easy to open up jfndndjdjs#but like we had such a nice conversation and it felt nice to hear some stuff ive been through from a senior :')#i think esp cuz of my wittle breakdown yesterday gjdjdjs but yeah#he also just said like 'oh thank god i have a student then i can actually focus on what im doing' so it was a win win fjdjdjs#he was cool.... joked around a lot which i was like ?! but genuinely very neat djfjdjs#im so sad tho since he usually works on a different site + im leaving to a different ward :(#but anyways.#oh he also just straight up went ITS SO ISOLATING WORKING IN HERE I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A FRIEND#and im just sjdjsjdkskkssks bro...#anyways it was a very weird experience but he was cool jdjdjdd#too much energy tho i think im dying sjfnsjs#work logs#snow speaks
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Jaya time
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I love these moments of nearly cosmic horror when they encounter inexplicable things (at first) they are so intriguing
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Is strawhat here?! *Megan thee stallion saying AAH 😜*
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This cover just goes hard... Get it chopper
#usopp and luffy wanting to go to skypiea and nami only gets it going when luffy says she won't do it cause she can't... now it's personal#robin getting nami an eternal pose..... yeah exactly#luffy eating takoyaki immediately after he finds an octopus... sanjis speed is no joke#THE FUCKING GUY SHOOTING THE SEAGULL IS THE ONE IN BLACKBEARDS CREW!!!! DAMN#dying swiftly or not is result of your actions??? i guess man whatever#FUCKING BURGESS TOO!!! and the fucking transing your gender virus maker.... here luffy doesnt explode!!!#teach and luffy having complete opposite opinions on everything.... having bad vibes immediately.... incredible its like luffy knew#luffy doesnt fight bellamy bc he isnt worth the fight sinply bc they have different ideals... yeah.. also emerald city when#the pirates that do it for the money and the pirates that do it for their dreams... which is weird bc luffys foil (?) is blackbeard#also a d also a pirate with dreams (the same one even?) but they go about it in two different ways still.... compelling#why dies luffy think about shanks and ace when he hears teach outside the bar i an going insane... why does luffy just stare at him#WHAT ARE YOU THINKING LUFFY!! DOES HE SEE HIM AND SEE COMPETITION??? THATS WHY SHANKS AND ACE TELLING HIM TO BE A GOOD PIRATE??#how do they know about the them. why do they not tell anyone. to this day they havent said A WORD#noland was also from 400 years ago.... we got joyboy noland and toki#also are the next cover stories about ace.... please......... i need to see him#el señor de la noche moment (luffy fighting bellamy) draws near... i am so excited#i love ace being a hobo and just jumping on whatever boat he can find to eat and sleep and nobody refuses bc he's with whitebeard ajdjajkqw#ALSO I MISSED YOU KING!!!! COME BACK TO MEEEE#gorusei kuma and doffy first appearance omg... hello everyone#'if we let redhair act more than its sufficient it could be problematic' does this mean they can control him? shanks sus evidence n.1#'redhair is not one to change the world on his own' is he waiting for luffy??? is that it?? is shanks rogers successor to aid joyboy???#he told something to shanks before dying about laughtale and left that work for him so thats why he went after the one piece right after#joyboy manifested in luffy. thats why he refused so outright to buggy when he proposed to sail together to find it... maybe shanks not evil#lafitte was a cop and is the one to propose blackbeard as shichibukai? for some reason even if he hasnt done anything yet ✍️#whitebeard appearance... loving this in between arc issues even if they are not in between arcs... in between islands arc i guess#see??? why does benn beckman care about what the gov thinks... why would they give af and why would they even think about it#fucking blackbeard was after luffy..... but he 'settled' for ace i am going to be sick#blackbeard should have died when the knock up stream destroyed his ship what happened there....#also i didnt notice cricket smoking so much and trembling akdhsksjk he is hoping he didnt send luffy to die#reading one piece
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Someone has been blasting Maroon 5 for like an hour straight on my floor 🫤
#idrc i just have a headache AGAIN and need to actually study for the first time today (yes its 11pm. ive made bad choices) so just like.#babe.#idfk why i keep getting these headaches though 😭😭😭#im drinking water i swear!!! is it the sleep? i got like 6 hours thats not awful#maybe my dorm is just toxic or smth and im slowly dying#WAIT IS THIS NEXT SONG NOT ADAM LEVINE?!?!?!?!#nevermind it is. 👍#why am i being haunted by adam levine today though. the singular levine song on my liked songs also came on while i was walking across#campus today though so like????#tempted to blast a different adam levine at the same time#for psychological warfare reasons
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wait so where did this anti and proship shit even come from lol
like its yet another form of nuanceless "us vs them'ing"... its honestly immature and i feel like it really shuts down actual diacussions that could be had, but instead we just label ourselves and others and ignore and hate on those who are on the "other side"
not to mention how frankly beyond obsessed weve become as a culture with whether people are morally good or bad/if people are good or bad people (which imo feels like a deeply christian thing to worry about but thats a different topic for another day)
i think its just healthy that we as people spot when were doing things like making meaningless dichotomies that do nothing but separate us, and instead try and think of the nuance of the situation, or at the very least smudge the line drawn in the middle. to create an "other" is not only to hurt those you deem as other, but to begin to hurt those you deem as the "us", and especially the one you deem as yourself.
#my post#im tired as FUCK lmao does any of this make sense#i have so many opinions btw dont worry like#i definitely am not an unbiased party#im just sick of this shit lol#like its also such a tumblr ass thing to do /neg#if i looked at 50 tumblr accounts i bet at least 10 of them would have something about proship or anti on their blog#maybe even in their bio/pinned!#also you KNOW i have opinions about christianity btw that. again thats a different topic but like#i am famously annoying about that topic lol#proship vs anti stuff also feels so deeply like... teenager shit. like. highschool drama shit. im so fr#like insert stereotypical bully voice. eww imagine being an anti what are you a prude? and then like#imagine stereotypical loser voice. oh ew what are you proship? typical fatherless behavior#like it feels like the type of conversation you hear in a highschool movie#im so tired goodnight its fucking like 85 degrees inside my house rn im dying
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Comics Adrian is not Punisher show Adrian is not Deadpool they are both funny little guys in their own ways and we can love them both equally. I am kinda starting to wish we lived in the timeline where Adrian was the one in suicide squad though-
#not actually I love TSS Peacemaker and the show still Ive just been thinking about it#Like just how it wouldve turned out. Its also like#the issue of show Adrian being so different is that even though I still like him and#everything I am starting to yearn for a more comics accurate Adrian that we kinda just cant get for now now. And maybe never#Because 1:1 Adrian would be difficult. But I do think a superhero show thats just actually a awful tragedy would be cool#Peacemaker wont be a tragedy because Peacemaker isnt a tragic character. His story ends with him getting redeemed#Adrian's ends with him dying and the horrible legacy he hated and despised lives on forever and other people keep Doing It. Including his-#own brother. Its good stuff#James Gunn could choose to just make Chris's life a living hell forever but hes shown he understands#the character and everything so I dont think he will#I still think Adrian might die .
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#omg so i fought myself to learn Ausländer on guitar and it kinda sucks bc i cant get the strumming but i learned the synth intro on guitar!!#BUT I WAS LIKE OKAY TIME FOR ANOTHER SONG LETS SEE WHAT ELSE THERE IS ON THE TABS APP#'oh. sex? i heard that earlier and it sounded fun but idr what it sounded like at the moment lemme put it on ...#... and try to play it in one go and see if anything clicks'#LORDDDDD THE SEX WAS WITH ME I PLAYED THAT SHIT RIGHT ALONG WITH IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH FIRST TRY#THAT SONG IS SO FUCKING EASY HOLY SHIT PUN NOT INTENDED FR THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING CATCHY AND SUCH A SIMPLE EVERYTHING#i cant believe i was dying trying to figure out a strumming pattern when i couldve been doing sex instead#((fr tho what the fuck is that strumming pattern?!?! idec anymore bc SEX!!))#like holy shit tho to just instantly 'get' a song like that is so fucking fun and like an instant burst of life#meanwhile i was spending hours on Ausländer and dying and practising and goofing off playing it all in shitty harmonics#guess that warmed me up for the big finish nadda meannnnn lmao#how tf is it after midnight now literally 3 hours of this and i got sex in like ... how long is that song#3:56 minutes#i wish the person that tabbed it didnt write it so weirdly tho i gotta note take so i can see it all in one go#like they wrote it like (tab version of): 'Ash (x2) F (x2)' and then a line break for the second half of the chorus#when usually itd be like: 'Ash Ash F F G G Dsh Dsh' all as one line bc it repeats differently on the second go around#fr tho holy shit holy shit that was so fucking fun holy shit#the fucking bend release part hhdhsjdidjwn it looked loud and complicated but its like u gotta just go for it and it works#its like that same feeling when u learn to fret tap ur like 'wtf no way that works' and it does. and ur like.#OH. SO THATS WHAT ITS LIKE TO ORGASM.#pfahahaha#ShitPost.exe#semi related but my new guitar strings arent as bad as i thought theyd be or maybe im just hopped up on New Song (to me)#the 6th string feels like a mfer but im not having issues playing it. im just gonna need to get used to the new texture#also my fingers are fucking GREY WHAT IS THIS SHIT WHY ARE THE STRINGS CRUDDY THEYRE BRAND NEW FROM A SEALED PACK#my guitar has been in its case the whole time like fr what is this gunk how do i clean it off ughhhhhhh like factory oil or something#anyway im gonna go do sex again just needed to tell the world how great that was#((hOW THE FUCK IS IT SO EASY SERIOUSLYYYYY))#oH WAIT ALSO#the intonation adjustment on my guitar and new strings means its holding tune a lot better now which is great im still in drop c lol
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me making my mortal kombat 1 oc who happens to use blood magic among other things??: hehehehehaahahahhooohohoho
Me remembering skarlet exists: FUUUAAACACKKKK😫😫😫😫😫😩
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#ITS NOT ON PURPOSE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#IM TRYING TO DIFFERENTIATE THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE#AND OF COURSE SINCE ITS A SELF INSERT SHE ALSO HAS RED/GINGER HAIR#ITS DYED SO MAYBE THATS A DIFFERENCE (????#WHHYYYYYY WHYYY WHYYY😫😫😫😫😫#mortal kombat#mk1
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🍷 nvrdrnk-wine Follow
so does anyone even like AB blood or…?
🕷 blood-is-the-strife Follow
i’ll drink it if there’s nothing else but it kinda blows
🦇 battybrained Follow
guys there is literally no discernible difference between blood types. blood is blood its all the same
🍷 nvrdrnk-wine Follow
you don’t even know how wrong you are
🥀 sanguine-dreaming Follow
Umm. I like AB? Maybe it has something to do with me being type AB before dying but it’s my favourite.
⚰️ draculas-left-cainine Follow
omg. OMG. GUYS. WHAT IF YOUR FAVORITE BLOOD TYPE IS JUST WHAT WOULDVE BEEN COMPATIBLE WITH YOUR BLOOD TYPE BEFORE VAMPIRIFICATION?????
THATS WHY WE ALL LOVE O NEGATIVE. IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!!
☠️ crypt-ic Follow
HOLY SHIT
🧛🏻♂️ fangs-for-the-venom Follow
hate to ruin your theory but i don’t like o neg
🍷 nvrdrnk-wine Follow
what the fuck is wrong with you
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Injuries pt2
Description:you come back from your travels injured,how do they react?
Warnings:injuries obviously but its vague
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Blade
He was seriously trying to have a calm and nice night,but then you walked in,all injured
"Where were you?"pauses and eyes you up and down"what happened?who did that?"
He sighs,gets up and carries you to your bed and then goes to get medicine and bandages
He swears to himself he is not panicking,if someone where to say he's panicking right now he'd deny it until his dying breath and in the afterlife,but the way he rummages through the medicine cabinets and searches for bandages says a different story
Truly,his actions betray his words,he says he's all calm but just look at the way his movements seem agitated,brows just a tad furrowed together,you'd have to squint so hard to actually see it on his face
But once he's got you all patched you better expect a lecture,but it doesnt sound like a lecture if you dont know him,if you didnt know anything about him at all it'd just sound as if he was listing off all of the things you did wrong that got you into this situation,but you know thats his way of telling you that you werent careful enough and giving advice
If you cant walk or move around much while your injuries heal he'll drop by your room during meal times with food and eat together with you and then leave,if you ask him nicely maybe he'll stay to keep you company,but otherwise dont expect him to stick around too long
But if you can walk and move around well,no you cant if he considers your injuries to be too grave,then you are staying in bed whether you have the ability to move or not,no questions asked
Once you're all healed up even if you wont see it Blade becomes overprotective,as i said you wont be seeing it since it'll be very subtle things,you'd have to pick up the hints off the floor
Overall 7/10 because you'll be confined to your bed and he wont have any idea of how to keep you company,plus the sass
Jing Yuan
He was worried the moment he realized you were late
"Where were you?"pauses and looks at you"Forget it lets just get you a doctor"
He doesnt even let you respond before he swoops you up bridal style and brings you to a doctor
Once the doctor is done patching you up he takes you back home,and lays you in bed,obviously he's not panicked or alarmed,just stressed about your state
Why didnt you call him? How did this happen? Why wasnt he there?
Nethier way he'll brush all that aside to take care of you
If you have to be bedridden he'll be at your beck and call until your injuries are fully healed,keeping you entertained with stories,jokes,mindless talks and even board games
If you can move around and dont have to stay in bed then great,you're still not moving too much,because he's carrying you almost everywhere due to the fact that he's worried over you physical condition
Once you're all recovered he'll have a serious talk with you about your safety and how you can rely on him
9/10 only because of the way he's blame himself for what happened to you
Gepard
He was happy to finally use what little time he had to spend with you,but then you walked in
"Huh?! Love what happened?!"
He'd rush to your side and carry you to lay down,and despite being initially alarmed he calms down and gets his priorities in order and gets you to a doctor
After you're all patched up he'll carry you back home and do whatever he can to help you. He sees silvermane guards get injured due to monsters almost daily so he's used to injuries,but even so,seeing his partner injured like this still worries him to no end
And he wont try to hide his worries about you
He's an experienced and strong silvermane guard,heck he"s even the head of the silvermane guards,why didnt you take him along with you? He could've prevented this,the situation definetly frustrates him and he's not afraid to show it
If you cant move around much and have to stay in bed he becomes your personal butler when he's around,bringing you food,doing chores and doing his best to keep you entertained and healing
And during times when he's on duty and cant be near you he'll ask his sister for help
If you arent bedridden then you have full mama bear Gepard because, oh boy the overprotectiveness that you never knew he had comes out
You want to cook by yourself? Oh no way is he letting you on your own,he's coming to help and he'll do most of it. You want to take a walk? Sure but you only get to walk for a bit before he's carrying you
Overall 10/10,do i need to explain?
Yanqing
He was so excited for you to come back,he was basically beaming knowing you were on your way
"Ah you're finally back!"he pauses and takes a good look at you"Huh?! Are you alright?! Come lets get you to a doctor!"
Initially he'll be panicked,very,until after the doctor is done bandaging your wounds and everything,thats when he finally relaxes after he's been pacing around like a headless chicken
And you better expect a full blown lecture,dont even think you can escape this lecture through any ways
As much as he loves you,he worried so much and still is seeing you in such a state,of course he'll be scolding you about not taking care of yourself and about being reckless
When he's finally calmed down he'll be placing his arms on your bedside and place his head onto his crossed arms right at the edge of your bed and just talk to you,he'll even play with your hand while talking to you,playing with your hand and vice versa or holding hands calms him down so
If you have to be bedridden then prepare for a full alert mode Yanqing because this man right here has your whole entire treatement memorized by heart if you have one(changing bandages,medicine for the wounds,pain killers,etc.),and since he has to leave the house due to his duties he'll leave everything prepared in a way that gives you easy acces to food,board games,books,snacks,anything you'd need
If you dont have to stay in bed then great,he'll get you to move around with him hoping it'll make your wounds better,of course he wont push you beyond your limit but still,he'll also be extra careful with you asking you quite often how you're feeling and if you're alright
9/10 only because he'd be so stressed and worried over you
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#hsr x reader#jing yuan hsr#blade hsr#yanqing hsr#gepard hsr#gepard x reader#gepard#blade x reader#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan#yanqing x reader#yanqing#x reader#headcannons#hcs#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail
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Anonymous asked: youve finally gotten to the section of the comic that makes me tear up everytime i read it! vriska is such a polarizing character but i have nothing but empathy for her. i do think she cares about her friends, even if shes awful at showing it and her attempts do more harm than good. Specifically i DO think she cares about karkat- she shows a begrudging respect for him throughout the comic and even says he maybe is the most human of them, which is something she is starting to admire herself even if she wont admit it. I think if vriska didnt care about the others in her sad, warped-by-child-abuse way, things would be much different. Jack bringing the bodies back and her being visibly enraged by it- i think thats grief. more than that i just find her quest to kill jack so sad. It really reveals to me how fucked up she is- she repeats so many times that she knows survival is unlikely, that she knows her immortality wont save her, but that its something she needs to do anyways. Vriska isnt actively suicidal- but shes passively okay with dying if its in a way where she can accomplish her goals. She wanted to be absolved of all the bad things shed done (even if thats not how it works). And- just as much- she wanted to save her friends. and terezi. The person who wants to not be a killer anymore but goes down the path anyway because the timeline says she must, because her own lack of a future is breathing down her neck. Who was the person vriska cares about most on that meteor, even if she is horrible at showing it. Terezi is the one to kill her. They were best friends! They were both thirteen years old! And its narrated by the man who literally groomed vriska and who she views as being a predator to her!!!! Most heartbreaking death she couldve gotten. Fly high in those dream bubbles queen
Maybe I spoke too soon, when I asserted that Vriska probably didn't give a shit about Karkat. They might not have had many on-panel interactions, but they were co-players for over six hundred hours. We can't say definitively that they didn't bond at all.
I guess the issue here is that the trolls' social group consists of sixty-six unique relationships, and we simply don't have time to explore them all. We know that each troll isn't necessarily buddies with every other troll in the group, and I could list plenty of pairs that almost certainly aren't friends. I can't imagine that Nepeta was particularly pally with Eridan, for example, and I don't think Aradia and Gamzee were hanging out offscreen.
All that said - if any troll is friends with the entire group, it's probably Karkat. His only real conversation with Vriska was that argument about quadrants on LOPAH, but there was a moment in one of the walkarounds where she agreed to put her plans on hold for his sake, which was a surprisingly kind gesture for her. Plus, you're right, she does think he'd cut it better as a human - and that statement hits differently when you remember she's low-key jealous of humanity.
As for Scratch... yeah, his treatment of Vriska, specifically, is nothing short of disturbing. She clearly hated it whenever he showed up to text her...
...and, uh, now that I'm actually thinking about it, the guy only ever seems to manipulate girls. The only male Player he's even spoken to was Karkat, and that was only three sentences. This guy was born from a nightmare - and he certainly acts like it, the creep.
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preserving these tags because god i love you gb time loop fic despite not writing a single chapter due to increasing intimidation
@martyrbat
one path i was debating, the one before bruce ACTUALLY breaks it, is he and khoa never have their snow fight or their rain breakup. they stick together, they train together, they STAY together because of the loop and the trauma bruce faced, the realization that he's in love. love has always fueled him and after losing minhkhoa again and again, after cradling his corpse again and again, he actually chooses khoa. he chooses to believe in his honey-promise of returning to gotham as men instead. and like.... that alone i want to write and but the time loop aspect can very quickly get sidetracked or forgotten about and like... NO idea how to tackle it with the skill it deserves lol
#i been toying with the idea of is it more tragic if khoa always secretly knew what was going on and just never told bruce#betraying his trust while also giving leeway to vulnerability (like him confessing his name while dying in bruces arms.#he knows bruce cant confront him about it yet its still a confession of free will while bruce thinks its a divulgence from a dying man)#which means khoa ALSO knew bruce was going through it but never let it known#this knowledge of being in the loop can also happen later (like after bruce confesses and convinces him) instead#and he wont admit hes now aware of being stuck in the loop with bruce (but maybe he'll be more riskier/give in to indulgence...)#or if its bruce fully alone. no one else knows. hes going through it again and again and has to convince khoa repeatedly or handle it alone#and hes the only one that will ever know about what they could of have. what they DID have even.#its a onesided heartbreak that pushes him over that ledge.#or is it worse if khoa ALSO knows but just... wont fucking admit it. burying those feelings down to pretend they dont exist because#technically they SHOULDN'T exist. and then bruces speech about all the time they spent together and khoa being scared to be alone?#the betrayal khoa feels as well but he wont fucking admit that. of course not. instead khoa knowss they could have been the best artists#alive but bruce is too much of a coward. and khoa refuses to be shackled by bruces failures.#i love the idea of bruce just going through this mental breakdown alone but also theres such a fun factor in thinking about#what if khoa gained awareness at some point secretly?? how to show that and what would it lead to? how would he keep it secret but theres#little signs that bruce will obsess over even years later in debating if khoa knew and would it make his heartbreak even worse?#like little signs such as their skill level was still equal despite bruce having years of ‘fake’ experience in learning thr techniques#little slips of knowledge or reference. bruce thought he was losing his mind and grasp of the loops but if knoa just accidentally#mentioned something that DID happen a loop ago instead? little slips in knowledge about bruce#or things to say or behavior or how he did that tongue thing bruce likes without learning it#y'know the basics.#like... its two sides of tragedy thats very different yet so similar and im so frustrated i cant get my thoughts out coherently enough aghh
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